What I Learned from Finally Doing a Friend Detox—and How It is Helping Me Heal Mentally
But here’s the thing: holding on to people who drain you emotionally keeps you stuck in patterns of anxiety, stress, and self-doubt who don’t respect your mental health who do things like steal your medication hold your challenges and behaviours against you, especially and don’t look at their own behaviour aren’t really friends I started to realize, especially when they constantly gaslight you and just talk to you when they want money or something.
And most of the time, you do not even notice it until you step away and get some clarity. I will not lie—this was not easy for me. It felt messy, uncomfortable, and at times, heartbreaking.
But stepping back from certain friendships taught me things I wish I had learned a long time ago—things that are already helping me protect my peace and rebuild my mental health
One of the biggest things I had to accept is that not everyone deserves access to me. I spent too long tolerating disrespect, manipulation, and those one-sided friendships where I was always the one giving but rarely getting anything back. For the longest time, I thought setting boundaries meant I was being mean, cold, or selfish.
But I finally get it now protecting my energy is not being unkind. It is self-respect. And when I finally cut ties with the people who kept draining me, I felt so much lighter. Not just emotionally, but physically too. It was like I had been carrying around a weight that was never mine to carry.
Another thing this detox taught me is how important it is to actually listen to my own feelings instead of pushing them down to keep other people comfortable. I used to believe I was “too sensitive” or “too much” whenever I spoke up about how I felt.
People would gaslight me, twist things around, and make me feel like I was the problem for expressing hurt. But the truth is—my emotions are valid. They tell me what I need, what I value, and what I am not willing to put up with anymore.
And honestly? That’s powerful. Letting go wasn’t just about who I removed from my life—it was also about what I started creating in the space they left behind. I’ve been learning how to pour that energy back into myself. I’ve been doing more of what brings me peace, choosing to be around people who uplift me, and—this was a big one—getting comfortable just being in my own company without feeling empty.
That mental clarity, that emotional calm I’m starting to build. None of that would’ve happened if I kept letting toxic friendships cloud my mind and heart. One of the most freeing shifts in my thinking was realizing I don’t need to apologize for outgrowing people.
Some friendships are for a season, not forever. And that’s okay. Every time I choose peace over chaos, I’m reminding myself that my mental health matters. I’m showing myself—and others—that I deserve kindness, respect, and real connection. Not crumbs.
If you want to do Your Own Friend Detox:
It is okay to outgrow people. Growth means change. Some people just do not grow with you, and that’s not failure—that’s life moving forward.
Boundaries are not walls—they are doors to healthier connections. Saying “no” does not make you mean. It makes you aware of your worth.
You might grieve—even if you are letting go of something unhealthy. Feel your feelings. Just do not let them drag you back into what you have already walked away from.
It is not about how many friends you have—it is about how those friendships feel. A small circle of real, supportive people beats a crowd of fakes every time.
Protecting your peace is something you must keep doing.
Boundaries are not a one-and-done thing—they are something you must keep coming back to, adjusting, and checking in on as you grow. And honestly, it is just as important to recognize the times when you might be the one showing up in a way that is not helpful.
Why? Communication is a two-way street, not a one-way road. If you are not willing to look at your own patterns too, you will end up repeating the same cycles with different people. Growth means holding yourself accountable while still protecting your peace. It is about balance.
For this reason, it is important to check in with yourself and adjusting as you grow. Now, I am moving forward with a different mindset. Before I invest in any friendship, I ask myself: Does this connection bring me peace or stress?
Do I feel seen, heard, and valued? If the answer is no, I am learning to walk away without guilt. This friend detox has easily been one of the best things I have done for my mental health. And I know this is just the beginning.
The more I choose myself, the more I see that peace is not just something that happens—it is something I create, step by step, boundary by boundary.
And honestly? It feels good to finally be in a place where I can recognize the difference between real friendships and the ones where people are just gaslighting me or using me. I deserve better—and so do you. Reflection
Question: What is one small boundary you can set this week that protects your peace and helps you show up for yourself?